okay first I <3 HOOK (the movie)
therefore . . . a few quotes . . .

Peter Banning: I bet you don't even have a fourth grade reading level.
Rufio: Hemorrhoidal suck naval.
Peter Banning: Or maybe a fifth grade reading level.
[kids whistle and waves their hands around]
Rufio: Boil dripping beef fart sniffing bubble butt.
Kids: Bangerang, Rufio.
Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ka-ka mouth, you know that?
Rufio: You are fart factory. Cheesy, scab picked, pimple squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side.
Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher.
Rufio: Mung tongue.
Peter Banning: Math tutor.
Rufio: Pinhead.
Peter Banning: Prison Barber.
Rufio: Mother lover.
Peter Banning: Nearsighted gynecologist.
Rufio: In your face, camel cake.
Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derriere.
Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig.
Peter Banning: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food, Dude.
Kids: Bangerang, Peter.

Pirate: Aren't you?
Peter Banning: Peter pan.
Pirate: [jumps out the window]

Peter Banning: [unearthing his cell phone] Wow. Brad, hi, you been holding this long? Uh huh. Neverland. Lost Boys. Jim Hook, duel to the death, I'll tell you about it later, I love to chat. But I gotta climb a drain pipe right now. Why? Because I ran out of fairy dust, if not I would've flown up.